Single Parent Advice

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Coping is one of the most challenging things that single parents need to go through as they take the sole responsibility of raising their children. Financial burden can be lightened by single parent benefits provided by the government and non-profit organizations.

But dealing with unavoidable questions that parents must respond to is something more difficult. Children are keen observers by nature and are curious about the world around them, the people around them.  They compare themselves with other people and with other families.

It is but natural that they wonder why they only have one parent. While older children may be more aware of the situation, younger children may not easily comprehend why, despite explanations.

Even while older children may have witnessed what happened, such as their parents going through a divorce, the custodial parent will have to take the time to assess their young emotions. What can be going on in their innocent minds that may not seem so obvious?

Because of this, it is important for a parent to get an appropriate single parent advice from experts in the field and from people who have been in the same shoes. When talking to children, being honest is necessary.

However, this does not mean that one has to discuss this lengthily and in detail. Parents must prepare the explanation beforehand so that they do not get caught off guard when children suddenly begin to ask questions. Explanations must be brief and simple enough for children to understand.

single parent advice
While it is true that parents may have argued and fought prior to a divorce or separation, this kind of fact or any negative detail about the other partner is not something that should be related to young children.

A parent must choose his or her words carefully, to ensure that these words do the purpose of clarifying rather than confusing. Furthermore, their minds are not yet capable of processing such very complicated adult information.

If the children still have ongoing communication with the non-custodial parent, then it is best to allow them to maintain their positive father-and-children relationship despite living arrangements.

This will help the children adjust to the changes in the family situation, knowing some things have changed and some things have not. But if the father has not communicated with the children and does not show any signs of interest for doing so, then it is better not to give children false hopes or ideas.

Dr. Phil McGraw, a well-known mental health professional shares similar sound advice for single moms.  According to him, mothers should not force an unwilling father to be involved.

In the same way, it is not advisable to force the child’s father to talk or to have a relationship with the child when the father refuses to because this will have negative effects on the child. This may lead the child towards feelings of confusion and rejection – and these are not healthy for them.

At the same time, Dr. Phil acknowledges the importance of having a father figure for the child but a good single mother is also more than capable of providing her child a good family – even without a father.

Like married couples, single parents also need to cope and to adjust. Life may not be easy for them, but given the help and advice that they need, then they will be able to gather enough strength to deal with struggles in a more positive and productive way.

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